Prone to rant: 12 Christmas Confessions

They say confession is good for the soul. But sometimes, it’s hard to confess things, particularly when they’re about “the most wonderful time of the year,” and you fear alienating friends and family by criticizing an aspect of Christmas that their great grandmother might have passed down to them on her deathbed. (People are so touchy about Christmas, right?)

But now that we’re past this “glorious” season, all bets are off! Lest you fashion me a Scrooge, you should know that I really do like Christmas. But as with all things, there are some aspects of this winter wonderland of tradition that I just can’t abide.
Inspired by author and speaker (and all-around cool guy) Jon Acuff, here are my 12 Christmas confessions, in no particular order…
  1. Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” should be played on repeat starting the day after Thanksgiving. It’s my jam.
  2. I find the process of purchasing gifts arduous and stressful. “Gifts” is not high on my list of love languages, which is the opposite of at least one member of my immediate family, so the pressure is on. With that said, I get arrogant and proud when I pick out and buy a really good, well-appreciated gift for someone. Mirror, mirror, on the wall…
  3. OF COURSE Mary knew all those things mentioned in that ridiculous melodramatic song. THE ANGEL TOLD HER! Can we move on from that now, please? (“The Acuff,” as my friend and I call him, share this confession. Bless him.)
  4. I adore the movie Elf. I’m not sure we can be friends if you don’t share the same affinity for elf culture.
  5. Nothing makes me change the radio station faster than “Christmas Shoes,” not even the 41st arrangement of “Mary Did You Know?” (see #3 above).
  6. I think about what I’m going to wear on Christmas (and Christmas Eve) almost like I used to prepare for school picture day. (Doesn’t the Bible say something about vanity? One can never be sure…)
  7. I try to avoid listening to Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. This is hard when we start preparing for my church’s Christmas program in August. (No joke.)
  8. I’ve never seen the entirety of It’s a Wonderful Life, but I’m pretty sure it’s not a wonderful movie.
  9. Along those lines, this might be a good place to mention that I’ve never watched The Sound of Music. This has nothing to do with Christmas, but I need to get this one off my chest.
  10. As far as religious Christmas songs go, I will judge you if you start singing “We Three Kings” or “Little Drummer Boy.” Few things make me as irritated as campy, non-Biblical “sacred” Christmas tunes.
  11. I wish I would have been the brains behind Elf on the Shelf. Those folks have to be set for life with as many pictures I’ve seen of this ridiculous, mischievous, and somewhat creepy creature.
  12. “Behold the Lamb of God” is one of my all-time favorite albums AND my all-time favorite Christmas album. It’s worth listening to year-round, and it doesn’t break my rule mentioned in #4, because it’s not explicitly “Christmas” music. Get yourself acquainted with this great collection of music if you aren’t already a fan.
What about you? Are there things about this special season that drive you crazy? Let it out. Confession is healthy. Then be thankful we don’t have to face another “We Three Kings” sing-along for a year!

2 thoughts on “Prone to rant: 12 Christmas Confessions

  1. #12 – Completely agree! Best album ever. Have you read the book?? I read it as an Advent devotional. And, bonus, now I can sing the genealogy of Matthew 1.

    #1 – Yep. Same here. Until you add “and you, and you, and you” and suddenly the scene of the little boy’s dejected eyes in Love Actually makes the song a wee bit heartbreaking.

    #9 – Unbelievable. The Sound of Music has EVERYTHING to do with Christmas. Did we learn NOTHING from the live television event????!

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